A Double-Feature With Robbins & Rozsa, Plus TV's Niftiest Noirs And A Lez-Be-Friends Secret Song!

Jeanne Moreau and Sean Young - together at last! Dafuq, you ask? What was France's Queen of Le Screen doing in a movie with America's favorite dead-eyed throw pillow?

Helen Stays Up Late, Barbara Talks The Talk, Plus A Bevy Of Slow Grinds, Rozsa Gets Furious And A Stringy Swan-Girl Secret Song!

Are you bloated from Turkey Day? Did you gobble-gobble more than you should have? Or is your figure is svelte as Helen Grayco's?

Sabu Flies With Miklos, Kay Sings 'Em All, Joel Goes Live, Plus A Canuck Secret Song!

So let's talk about the picture above. The boy is wearing a leather leash and his "daddy's" got the biggest benwa ball you've ever seen - but I swear, they're not stars from a porn flick, though even if they were, would your opinion of them change? Who knows? I mean, as far as porn stars go, people seem to have all kinds of opinions about them these days.

So no, it's not porn, it's actually a still from "The Thief Of Bagdad," an okay 1940 remake of the eye-popping 1924 original. Many people think the remake is a classic, probably because the Technicolor is all kinds of trippy, and because one of its star's - the kid, to be exact - is named Sabu (just Sabu) (which is one of my all-time favorite movie star names) (along with Zasu Pitts and Blanche Sweet). As a film, it just can't compare with the silent original, which, after all, had this...

...along with special effects that are still delightful. But, like I said, it's okay. So why am I bringing up the 1940 movie? Because what really struck me when I first saw it was the Oscar-nominated score by Miklos Rozsa. This was one of his earliest scores, and it was so striking that it brought him to Hollywood. If you can ignore a few early tracks that have some dated-sounded vocalizing, this is the quintessential fantasy score - full of grand, sweeping orchestral movements designed to knock your socks off. And they do.

There's lots of soundtrack releases for this score, but my favorite is conducted by Elmer Bernstein, which brings together all of the score's short snippets into longer suites. If only this score could be wedded to the 1924 original. Then we'd have perfection.

Speaking of perfection, down-home flawlessness is here today in the form of Miss Kay Starr:

Like a lot of "girl singers" of her time, Kay started as a celebrated jazz singer, but when the bottom began to fall out of the market in the early 1950's, she quickly retrenched, then re-emerged as a hit-making pop singer. So there's two Kay's, really. Her first incantation as a jazz singer shines through in "Kay Star: Best Of The Standard Transcriptions," a pokey-sounding title which is basically saying that the tracks were captured during her stints on the radio (with jazz greats like Les Paul, Buzz Adlam and more).

Listen to her kick around "Honeysuckle Rose" or Ain't Misbehavin'" - and I say "kick around" deliberately. Part of Kay's charm is that she makes it sound so-o-o casual and easy - as if she weren't really singing, exactly, but just sitting back on her porch, sipping tea and telling you a story.

"The Ultimate Kay Starr" highlights her pop side, including her biggest hit, "Wheel Of Fortune," but also her takes on "When A Man Loves A Woman" (she delivers it with uncomplicated, heartbreaking directness) and a wonderfully jazzy rendition of "Get Me To the Church On Time." Both collections are, I think, essential.

And now for some hot-cha! jazz hands! And I ain't talkin' about you-know-who.

No Liza this time around. Sorry. This time it's Joel Grey's turn, her co-star from "Cabaret." After that movie hit, Joel was the "it boy" of the moment, and his 1973 LP "Joel Grey Live!" - a hot-cha Cheerful Exclusive! - is culled from his nationwide touring stints in the early '70's.

Get ready, because when Joel sells a song, he sells!sells!sells! That's a lot of fun when he's singing songs you might like, including "The Cabaret Melody" (of course) (or even ballads, such as "Lean On Me"). Yet things can get slightly grating when he's singing things you might not have a special fondness for, like the "George M. Cohan Medley" (I never need to hear "It's a Grand Old Flag" again) (ever).

Still, this is a wonderful time capsule. It's probably the last time in music history in which a movie with Broadway tunes was popular enough to support a nationwide tour with just one of its performers. Oh, on a technical note, the first two tracks are a teensy bit jittery sounding because the LP was unbelievably warped. But it's still very listenable, so don't you fret.

"Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Yes, I'd like a massage. That's right. And I'd like a male masseuse. One with a really big - um, big hands. Strong hands. What? No, this isn't John Travolta! Oh my God! What-what? Hahahaha! Oh, you're so funny. What makes you say that? Is it my masculine-sounding voice? Hello? Hello?"

The Secret Song File feels supersad for peeps on the down low, or anyone living in somebody else's shadow. Kind of like Canada, that "nice country" with the big ol' nasty U.S. beneath it sucking up all the air. But at least Canada has plenty of wonderful artists, like this electronica duo whose spanking new CD is mesmerizing. Oh, wait. I'm so sorry. They aren't actually Canadian, they're Scottish! Sigh. Heavy sigh. Poor Canada.

But remember, Canada has given us Howie Mandel, so they're not perfect. 

Dance a little jig in the comments, why dont'cha? It doesn't have to be Scottish.

The Jetsons Are Here! Plus More Porgy And Bess, Rozsa's Madame Bovery, Herrmann's Hitchcock And A Pine-Fresh Secret Song!

"His boy Elroy!" If you grew up at a certain time, then you'll probably recognize just that one single snippet of song lyric. It was drilled into your head on Saturday mornings while you ingested cups and cups of toxic sugary cereal. Remember? I do. And yet you never threw up (or at least I didn't).

If you still think fondly of those Saturday mornings, then today's your lucky day. Bring the sugar-shock back with this ultra-deluxe collection of "Jetsons" tunes and music (along with a bit of "Jonny Quest" tossed in for good measure), but don't say I didn't warn you. It's giggly fun, yes, but it just might rot your teeth.

As some of you might know, I have a special fondness for "Porgy And Bess" - in all of its varied incantations. So I just couldn't resist when I happened upon this Cheerfully Summertime Exclusive! It's the 1976 "Collector's Series" edition of "Porgy" with the one, the only, Cab Calloway.

This version also features several popular opera performers of the day, like Eleanor Steber, one of the first big-time US opera stars, and Robert Merrill, who worked in operas as well as on Broadway and in movies. I wasn't familiar with any of them until I happened upon this LP, but if you love this musical, then you'll love this version (which includes an especially haunting version of "Gone, Gone, Gone" by The Robert Shaw Group). And, yes, Calloway absolutely kills on his rendition of "It Ain't Necessarily So." But you knew that already.

Have you ever seen Vincente Minnelli's "Madame Bovary?" It was advertised in 1949 with this irresistible slogan: "Whatever it is that French women have, Madame Bovary has more of it!" Yeowza! Now that's how ya' advertise a movie. Pauline Kael found it "hopelessly overscaled," but I kind of enjoyed all the keyed-up sumptuousness - as only Minnelli can supply; he wasn't derided as a "mere window dresser" for nothing - and Jennifer Jones is surprisingly effective.

So why am I bringing up this movie? To inaugurate a Super Cheerful Exclusive!, the 15-CD treasury of music by famed Old Hollywood composer Miklos Rozsa. Hooray! This generous anthology brings together all the best of Rozsa, who wrote "Madame Bovary's" rapturous score, and of course many more. "Bovary's" been newly restored for this first CD and it's an absolute must.

Did you know? Rozsa was taught piano as a child by his mother Regina. She, in turn, had studied as a child with students of (wait for it) Franz Liszt. By age eight, Rozsa was already composing and performing in public. Oh, and get this: once arrived in Hollywood, Rozsa angrily vowed never to work with Hitchcock again after penning the score for "Spellbound." Hitchcock was gravely disappointed in the score; Rozsa found Hitchcock a major pain in the touchas. Meh, it happens.

Speaking of Old Hollywood masters, what do Lillian Gish and Alfred Hitchcock have in common? Yes, you guessed it, Bernard Herrmann, who wrote the score for TV's "Alfred Hitchcock Hour," including music for an episode entitled "Body In The Barn" starring Lillian Gish, who was in her late 60's at the time.

Interestingly, this aired well before "Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte," which started the so-called "Hag Horror" trend - or horror movies with aging movie queens - in the late 1960's. Some even credit it with with starting the trend to begin with (you can click on Lillian to see more).

I won't argue the finer points of "Hag Horror" - though my Cuban Luvuh knows the genre well - except to say that finding more Herrmann is always a happy event. And this delightfully moody CD is chock full of Herrmann at his best.

The Secret Song File will be watching the Oscars this weekend with a bewhiskered Euro paramour in a swank hotel suite. Maybe too swank. She absolutely loathes those awful bowl sinks - you know, the ones that certain designy folk seem to think are so "stylish" and "fashionable" - because when it's time for a quick wash (ahem), no one likes the edge of a bowl cleaving into their midsection (just sayin').

Similarly, The Secret Song File despises new electronica music, since the whole genre seems like it's stuck in the mid 1990's (I'm talking to you, "Air). But this multilingual, American-born, "pine-scented" chillwave artist is different. And in his spanking new second CD, he exhibits gratifying humor and playfulness, not to mention an almost suspenseful track list - you never know where he's going from one track to the next. This is unlike the bewhiskered Euro paramour, who's slightly pretentious and oh-so-predictable; he really seems to think "Amour" will sweep the Oscars this Sunday. Oh, hahahahaha! Silly boy.

To be blunt, I could only stomach the first half of "Les Miserables."

Leave your Oscar picks or anything else on your mind in the comments!

Swingin' Barry, Georgia's Nibs, A Big Howdee From Minnie, A Classic Crime Scene, Plus An Oh-So-Very-Blue Secret Song!

Today post is full of laughs and romance and danger! But first, a little intrigue by way of John Barry's kicky 1965 score for "The Knack And How To Get It," a groovalicious soundtrack with funky organ, xylophone, a fabulously overactive percussion section and a horn section that'll  - pow! - blow you into kingdom come.

The movie, which is actually pretty good, is all about "Swingin' London" in the 1960's - mods! hippies! rockers! - and stars Rita Tushingham, the movie's "Jo" from "Taste Of Honey," so you know it's going to be so far out. And Barry's music jacks it all up. Did I say far out? I think I did. Trust me. You'll love it.

Speaking of groovy and all kinds of fine, say hello to Miss Georgia Gibbs:

In the Exclusively Cheerful Nibs! posting, Miss Gibbs herself - who started her career by performing jazz and R&B covers, then moved on to pop - starts off this 1966 collection with a wonderfully snazzy version of "Something's Got To Give." But my favorite is her take on "Do It Again." Not many singers can sound so scrubby clean, yet so down low and dirty, at the same time, but somehow Miss Gibbs pulls it off.

In the mood for a giggle? Me, too. So 'cmon, now, pull up a bucket of chicken and a box of wine, cuz Minnie's got a few story's to tell ya'.

I'd never really followed the career of Minnie when I was mini myself, but when I happened upon the 1963 comedy LP "Howdee! Cousin Minnie Pearl, The Gal From Grinder's Switch At The Party" something told me to grab it.

In this Cheerfully Downhome Exclusive!, Minnie chats about her booze-swillin' Uncle Naybob, sings a few songs, like "How To Catch A Man" ("Hog tie 'im!") and chitchats about her own looks. "A feller told me I looked like a fresh breath of spring," she says, then meekly corrects herself. "Well, actually, he didn't use those words, he said I looked like the end of a hard winter." Plus, she talks all about her "good friend Elvis." How can you go wrong?

I've always held a special place in my heart for film noir (and John Garfield, the ultimate dumb-luck hunk).

And yet it's not just the skewed camera angles, concealing shadows or nefarious storylines that have pulled me in. The danger-girl jazz-infused music adds to the fun, too, and most of it makes for great listening (even out of context).

"Crime Scene USA" is hard to beat in this regard with its collection of tunes from classics like "Double Indemnity" and "Mildred Pierce," to name just two, by a Who's Who of composers such as Alfred Newman, Miklos Rozsa, Max Steiner, Franz Waxman, Elmer Bernstein and even Marvin Hamlisch. It's perfect for a rainy Sunday afternoon, but really, any day is a bad-girl good day for music like this.

Some time ago, The Secret Song File was crowned Miss Sausage Queen USA, and, yes, I know what you're thinking, and yes, you'd be right. How else do you think Beauty Queens win their crowns? They're not getting down on their knees for the Lord (rim-shot!) (oh, no I di'nt!).

What in hell's bells does that have to do with today's musical offering (or anything, really)? Beats me. So anyhoo, let's give today's hints in pictures! This popular jazz songstress with a poppin' new CD has THIS as a first name, plus a last name which sounds like the moniker of THIS chateau. OMG, was that supereasy or what?

Right, so when we start talking sausages and supereasy, it's time to hit the trail. 

Tell me if you've ever been crowned (and for what) in the comments. I swear I won't judge (too much)!