Exclusive Judy, Plus Sex Symbols Galore, A Screwy Poof Party And A Screaming Halloween Secret Song!

Judy, Judy, Judy! Did you know? As a child, she claimed to learn better in school when she wasn't wearing her left shoe, and so habitually took it off in class. For some reason this makes me happy.

Kitty's On Fire, Joan Speaks, Plus Tons 'O' Funk, Much More Parrott And A Clownish Secret Song!

"Hey, ya'll, Kitty's back!" I really hope someone, somewhere, called that out when Kitty returned to their local jazz club. She looks like an approachable singing star, the kind of gal who's "just folks" - until she opens her mouth and sings. Then you know; there's nothing "just" about her at all. Kitty, as you may know, never achieved great fame, but on the West Coast in the 30s and 40s, she was "it."

Anita Restored, Heavy-Breathing Wolfs, Herrmann Swoons, Plus A Hollywood Cavalcade And An Aussie Mountain Secret Song!

If you've been following this blog over the past few years, then you know I love-love Anita O'Day. A trailblazing bebop and jazz singer - who refused to be anyone's mere "girl singer," as they were called in the day - her childhood was marked by an inattentive, gambling father, a coldly apathetic mother and a botched tonsillectomy which cut out her uvula. That left her unable to sing with vibrato, or hold a note much past two or three bars, if that. It didn't stop her. She learned how to hit notes like a percussionist - bullseye! - and scat-sing with machine-gun power. But she was far from a cold technician. If anything, she epitomized all the joy that a "dame" from a hard-scrabble life could create simply by singing. 

From grueling touring work as a marathon dancer during the Depression - some of the marathons went on for six days or more - to a stint as a singing waitress, to her pioneering work as a jazz singer, she lived a good long life, and remarkably, survived a decades-long heroin addiction. "When you shoot up," she once advised, "the trick is to have someone around in case you OD. You have to be found right away." She eventually quit cold turkey by locking herself down at a beach house, and then just kept going. What remains is her music, and happily, a lot of her best LPs are being remastered, including the two below. Listen to "Stompin' At The Savoy" from "Pick Yourself Up" - especially when she abandons the lyrics and just scats away. It's heaven. 

No, it's not Jessica Rabbit below, but rather, who she was based on:

Have you seen any of director Tex Avery's cartoons? Then you know his were the bawdiest, and I'll argue, funniest, in the 1940's and 50's. He directed the first Daffy Duck cartoon - Daffy is my favorite cartoon character. Of. All. Time - and turned Bugs Bunny into the superchill Brooklyn wesenheimer we all know today. Yes, Bugs' refrain, "What's up, Doc?", first appeared in the Avery-directed short "A Wild Hare." After Warners, he went to Paramount, then MGM, the latter where composer Scott Bradley scored his cartoons. 

Bradley isn't as well known as Carl Stalling, Warners' cartoon composer, but he was just as antic, and his orchestrations were more lush, befitting the "deluxe" MGM of the period. This 1992 CD brings a lot of his tunes together, and no, it's not the best compilation out there (some cuts include the cartoon dialogue) (which I find intrusive), but at least there's a few tracks here that really allow you to appreciate this little-known composer (plus the cover's pretty nifty, don't you think?).

Speaking of compilations, there's so many Bernard Herrmann collections that it's sometimes difficult to keep track. And truthfully, most of them are just thrown together, with no rhyme or reason for why music from one movie, for example, flows into music from another. And another. And another. In other words, they're money-grabs. 

But this 1976 compilation wisely chooses music from just three of Herrmann's efforts, and they compliment each other beautifully, starting with "Citizen Kane," his first feature assignment, then his Oscar-winning score for "The Devil & Daniel Webster," and on to one of his last, and best, for De Palma's "Obsession."

If you listen to the CD from start to finish (which I really recommend), it's like a dark musical portrait that starts out jaunty and cynical, turns fantastical and fiendish, then dives, beautifully, into thunderous, doom-laden romance. It's quite a ride.

Oh, Deanna, you're still missed, I swear. You were just so damn perky.

There's little Deanna and a host of other big-time Hollywood stars - like Dorothy Lamour! Harpo Marx! Marlene Deitrich! - singing and crooning in "Hooray For Hollywood!" a 1972 compilation LP which stretches from the 1930's to the 50's. Who can resist James Cagney singing "Mary's A Grand Ol' Name?' I know I can't. There's also Betty Hutton singing "Oh, It's So Quiet," which, depending on your mood, will either be the most irritating or joyous thing you've heard all day. And, yes, it's a Cheerful Exclusive! just for you.

The Secret Song File is feeling superpouty today. Too many hours on the set. Too many cigarettes and hootch. So how to relax, but not get all sloppy about it. Hmmm.

She knows just what to do (of course). Put on this slickly entertaining alterna CD from the land Down Under. No, really. It's all in good fun, and since they're good musicians and songwriters, you don't have to feel ashamed of yourself. Who are they? Let's just say that they put the "A" in Aussie. and they're one-word name is just another way to say say shaving jelly. Or, you know, have you met Al Pine? Nice guy. Smells funny, but nice guy.

I kid, of course. I've never taken a whiff of Al (but if I did, I'm not telling).

Talk to me below. You'll feel fresh and clean if you do!

Crawford Sings, Bailey's Showstoppers, Plus A Master Of Disguise, Annette's Best, Derek's Flamingo Jazz And A Bug Bite Secret Song!

Yes, that's her. No, it's not a drag queen, though late-era Joan, with her overly severe make-up and hard-jaw facial expressions, inspired many. She didn't start out that way. "You're a writer, aren't you?" the newly arrived Joan asked screenwriter Frederica Maas, eyeing her up and down at MGM in the early 1920's. "And you dress like a lady. I need that. I want to be dressed right. Smart. I figured you could help."

After taking her on a whirlwind shopping trip, Frederica notes in her autobiography that Joan now "had class - even if it only showed in her wardrobe. She had two obsessions: her goals of stardom and of becoming a good actress. At considerable cost, she achieved both, (but) in the end, she died a lonely victim of too many sleeping potions and too much alcohol." Poor Joan, there's always bad news. But at least she left us her movies - and hot-cha photos like this:

She also left us her songs. "What?" you're asking. Yes, Joan Crawford sang in quite a few of her movies. And in this Movie Stah Cheerful Exclusive! you'll hear them all, from the early 1920s to the 50's. How well does she sing? Not bad, actually. She sang like she acted, as if she were still doing silent movies; deliberately, cleanly, with maximum emotion or none at all. No in-between for our Joan. None. But then with Joan, there never was.

Let's hop forward a few decades or so to "Dickie," as she was sometimes called by her friends and close associates.

1970's "Applause" - yet another Cheerful Exclusive! - features Pearl Bailey in terrific form, and backed by a big brassy band. The opening title number is enough to awaken even the sleepiest little bee in the room. But there's also ballads and blues, like my favorite number, "When The World Was Young," which she performs in an aching, though more hopeful, manner than most. And the finale, "Tower Of Strength," tells you all you need to know about this indomitable singer.

I'm not that fond of impersonators, and I generally forget about them unless someone brings them up. But there's one who stands head and shoulders above them all. I'm not even sure you'd call him an impersonator, much less a drag queen. An illusionist, maybe?

It was my Cuban Luvuh who stumbled upon this 1973 "Live In Concert, Jim Bailey At Carnegie Hall" LP - a Camouflaged Cheerful Exclusive! - and it's like nothing you've ever heard. Bailey, as you may know, was an illusionist (I decided to go with that term) (for now), in the late 60's and into the 80's, specializing in female divas who sang. It helped that he was trained in opera - he's a fine singer on his own - but surely some other kind of magic was at work.

On the first of this 2 LP set, he performs a Barbra Streisand concert, as Barbra (of course), and, yes, it's wonderful, but it's the second LP, in which he performs Judy Garland in concert, which truly stands out, especially when he sings "The Man That Got Away," which goes way beyond mere impersonation. He's Garland, alright, as if he's crawled beneath her skin, but he's also having a conversation with you - about what it means to love this singular performer and what she means to him. The last portion of the LP set features Bailey-as-Bailey singing in his own voice, and besides his opening number, which is maybe a bit too Vegas razz-ma-tazz, it's quite a performance. All of it is!

Since spring is still springing, it's time for a dollop of jazz, don't you think? Derek Smith certainly does.

I love this 1955 mini 4-track LP, which includes Derek Smith, a noted British jazz pianist, performing with his trio - Allan Ganley on drums, Freddie Logan on bass and Harry Klein on baritone. There's nothing show-stopping here, just delightful light jazz, including a charming version of Gershwin's "Let's Call The Whole Thing Off." It practically fizzy-pops out of the speakers.

Fizzy-pop of a different kind came, conquered, then left us this week. Yes, I'm referring to Annette Funny-jello Funicello, the ultimate teen girl.

This giggly-fun 2-CD "box set" has all the best of Annette, including the beach party tunes, the movie and novelty songs - like "The Rock-A-Cha," which is a blast - even a Beatles cover (no, really) (and it's good). Plus the session musicians are outstanding. Could she really sing? Absolutely. But it's her infectious, one-of-a-kind Annette-ness that really makes you smile.

What are you going to do when you're forced to sit next to - and even hold hands with - a guy you're so not into? The Secret Song File is struggling with just such a situation below. The guy really bugs her, if you know what I mean; he's like a mosquito or something (and yes, that was a huge hint). It's almost sacrilege!

Maybe it'll be better when she gets home. She can play the very latest CD from this premiere American alterna band and scream - with her mouth in a perfect "O," just like the lead singer. Or maybe she can just scream "Yeah!" three times in a row (making the last one plural). Oy. If you don't know who the band is by now, then it really is sacrilege!

But then one person's sacrilege is another's one's holiday, right?

Have a go at it in the comments!