Happy Holidays With Blonde Betty, Mamie's Husband, A Bluesy Wives Sunday, Plus Billie's Latest And A Timely Outtake Secret Song!

"Do you feel like cleaning?" my Cuban Luvah asked me today. I responded with a baleful chuckle, because who ever feels like cleaning? No, really. Who? Besides, in these Trying Times™, being a slackwad suits me just fine, thankyouverymuch. It also gives me time to listen to more music, which includes the tunes of Patty McGovern.

Exclusive Strippers Strip, Triplets Whip It, Ray 'n' Julie 'n' Neile, Plus A Chippy Secret Song!

Ah, Miss Lily St. Cyr. There is no other. Some ladies know exactly how to take it off. In other words, she's taught you everything you know. Besides, since swimsuit season is upon us, we've all got to be ready to flaunt it, amirite? And what better way to get in shape then with a little wiggle here, a little wiggle there, and healthy dose of low-down stripper music? But, please, none of that nouveau burlesque electronica stuff. That modern stuff just doesn't go with moves like this:

Three Gold Diggers Dig, Plus A Gaggle of Goodies And A Douchey-Judgey Secret Song!

Girls, girls, girls! Twentieth-Century Fox sure knew what they were doing. Advertising, as you may know, is generally designed to follow the eyes' natural path - in a Z pattern, from the top left corner to the bottom right. And look where we end up in this publicity photo for 1953's "How To Marry A Millionaire."