A Basket Of Berlin, Breakfast With Anita, Plus Fran's Coming, Mary's Live And A Trans Secret Song!

I'm back! Did you miss me? I missed you (of course). We should celebrate, right? Let's kick things off with glamour-glamour-glamour by way of Ann Miller, who wasn't exactly known for sex-appeal back in the day, but above is giving you her best come-hither. Hot-cha! This was unusual for her. In fact, for years after her heyday, she refused to do movies because of their sex and nudity, yet triumphantly, she returned to the screen in 2001's "Mulholland Drive" (which had no sex or nudity at all) (but whatever). 

Marilyn's Big F.U., Lori's First, Plus Brass-Goes-Jazz And A Ziggy Secret Song!

Everyone knows and loves Marilyn - she's smiling above just for you - but not many are familiar with Adolph Deutsch, a London-born, Hollywood-era composer who wrote the score for "Some Like It Hot," the bawdy classic which features Marilyn at her creamy-dreamiest. I'm just glad I wasn't on-set when it was being made. She was way too much to handle during this period, so much so that director Billy Wilder vowed never to work with her again and publicly railed against her (here they are looking all happy-like during the shoot, but don't you believe it).

Three Gold Diggers Dig, Plus A Gaggle of Goodies And A Douchey-Judgey Secret Song!

Girls, girls, girls! Twentieth-Century Fox sure knew what they were doing. Advertising, as you may know, is generally designed to follow the eyes' natural path - in a Z pattern, from the top left corner to the bottom right. And look where we end up in this publicity photo for 1953's "How To Marry A Millionaire."

Pearlie's Porgy, Marilyn's Penultimate Last Call, Plus Desplat's Daughter And A Pope-Ripping Secret Song!

Shocker! In 1959, Pearl Bailey recorded an LP in which she performed songs from "Porgy & Bess," along with other Gershwin tunes, and it bombed - hardly anyone bought it - so it almost instantly went out of print. Me, yours truly, being the Porgy & Bess-head that I am - or thought I was - didn't even know it existed. By chance, while ambling through a record store with my Cuban Luvuh last week, I spotted it popping up like Pearl herself, all smiles and effortlessly stylish.

Dames, Dames, Dames, Plus Keely & Jimmy Hit The Clubs, Hitchcock Dances (No, Really), And A JFK Secret Song!

"Va-Va-Voom!," a terrific 1985 2-LP compilation, spotlights classic Hollywood "dames" singing for their supper, like Sophia Loren above. For those too young to know, those were the days when gals wore lovely garter stockings and white gloves to the corner newsstand or the butcher's and such (it was really like that) (you can't tell me it wasn't). And can we talk about that hat? And the nice-girl pearls. Flaw. Less.

How did I come upon such a treasure? It started innocently enough. Me and my Cuban Luvuh were LP shopping a few weeks ago, sorting through what seemed like a giant heap of garbage - yuck, all those Paul Anka and Johnny Mathis LPs - when I happened upon "Va-Va-Voom!" and looked curiously at the list of performers. There's Marilyn Monroe, of course, Sophia, Jane Russell and Jayne Mansfield, but also less predictable entries from Rhonda Fleming, Diana Dors, Mamie Van Doren and more.

So far, so good. Then Señor Cuban examined the records to see what condition they were in - and get this, both LPs were bright pink. Literally. Sold. For a dollar and change. So enjoy, dear reader; it's a Cheerful Exclusive! just for you. And, please, if I could dye the ALAC tracks pink, you know I would.

From the Va-Va-Voom Dames to everyone's favorite Vegas Razzmatazz Gal, Miss Keely Smith. "C'mon down and sing pretty for the people!" cries her husband/announcer in this 2005 live recording "Keely Smith '58 - Today," and she doesn't disappoint.

Keely was seventy-three-years-old when she recorded this CD - a joyful Cheerful Exclusive! - but you wouldn't know it from her voice (and I'm not just being nice).

Keep in mind, this is the same Keely Smith who performed "That Old Black Magic" with Kid Rock at the Grammys in 2008, so you know she isn't fooling around. I especially like the medley "Just A Gigolo/Ain't Got Nobody," which is purest old school Vegas. And, yes, she's been wearing the same damn blunt-cut wig for the last forty years (at least) (it may even be the same one) (bless her heart). But, hey, when you've got a "look," you stick with it.

Let's travel back in time. To the 1960's, to be exact. Meet the funkiest comic tramp known to man; the one, the only, Jimmy Lynch. You haven't heard of him? I hadn't either until I happened upon "That Funky Tramp In A Nightclub," and I'm very glad I did. But be warned, before you listen, hide the children, cover the cat's ears! Things are about to get a little bit obscene.

Actually, not that obscene by today's standards (though it's reputed to be the first LP with an F-Bomb). It was recorded at various comedy clubs throughout the midwest in the mid-1960's when Jimmy was on the road, and the crowd, with their shocked gasps and screaming laughter, were as much a part of the show as he was.

Jimmy was also a singer, and he punctuates his more salacious gags with sudden James Brown riffs or howling, infectious cries. But what's really amazing about this LP is the lack of traditional "jokes" or "routines." Jimmy's fully-formed persona is the real gag here, along with all the stories he tells, which pile up on each other, seemingly at random, and keep getting more and more outrageous. I won't even tell you what happens to that female circus guerrilla, but it's genuinely shocking and very funny.

Have you ever seen Hitchcock dance?

What is he doing, exactly? The Rhumba? The Cha-Cha? Perhaps it's Contemporary. Or Hip-Hop. Actually, he's probably shaking his bon-bon to this second volume (3 whole CDs!) of "The Alfred Hitchcock Hour" (the first is here), which once more has Bernard Herrmann pulling out all the stops.

You know the drill; moody strings, sudden jolts of brass and lulling melodies that soften you for the kill. Speaking of the later, the set of suites entitled "Death Scene" include some of the most beautiful music I've ever heard from this composer. Of course, it can turn on a dime - so don't let your guard down. Mwah-ha-ha!

Remember when America wasn't all sneaky and spy-like and doing skeevy backdoor deals? The Secret Song File does. It was called Camelot, and it's long dead by now, though hopefully not burning in Hell like Carrie White (but let's be honest, things were totally skeevy back then, too) (we know better now) (don't we?). Anyhoo, back to Camelot. It's 1962. Two jazz greats - one a composer and performer, the other a vocalist - are gathered to entertain D.C.'s elite. Are you excited yet? You should be.

This fantastic live recording was released in a truncated form originally, but now here it is in all its uncut glory. Two jazz phenoms - one who left his heart in San Francisco; the other, recently deceased, whose most popular song may remind you of a certain candy bar - together at last. Just remember, Camelot is long gone. And it ain't poppin' back to life like Carrie any time soon.

Okay, so maybe Carrie is, but we'll ignore that. 

Make everyone giggle in the comments, wont'cha? We all deserve a giggle.

Anita Restored, Heavy-Breathing Wolfs, Herrmann Swoons, Plus A Hollywood Cavalcade And An Aussie Mountain Secret Song!

If you've been following this blog over the past few years, then you know I love-love Anita O'Day. A trailblazing bebop and jazz singer - who refused to be anyone's mere "girl singer," as they were called in the day - her childhood was marked by an inattentive, gambling father, a coldly apathetic mother and a botched tonsillectomy which cut out her uvula. That left her unable to sing with vibrato, or hold a note much past two or three bars, if that. It didn't stop her. She learned how to hit notes like a percussionist - bullseye! - and scat-sing with machine-gun power. But she was far from a cold technician. If anything, she epitomized all the joy that a "dame" from a hard-scrabble life could create simply by singing. 

From grueling touring work as a marathon dancer during the Depression - some of the marathons went on for six days or more - to a stint as a singing waitress, to her pioneering work as a jazz singer, she lived a good long life, and remarkably, survived a decades-long heroin addiction. "When you shoot up," she once advised, "the trick is to have someone around in case you OD. You have to be found right away." She eventually quit cold turkey by locking herself down at a beach house, and then just kept going. What remains is her music, and happily, a lot of her best LPs are being remastered, including the two below. Listen to "Stompin' At The Savoy" from "Pick Yourself Up" - especially when she abandons the lyrics and just scats away. It's heaven. 

No, it's not Jessica Rabbit below, but rather, who she was based on:

Have you seen any of director Tex Avery's cartoons? Then you know his were the bawdiest, and I'll argue, funniest, in the 1940's and 50's. He directed the first Daffy Duck cartoon - Daffy is my favorite cartoon character. Of. All. Time - and turned Bugs Bunny into the superchill Brooklyn wesenheimer we all know today. Yes, Bugs' refrain, "What's up, Doc?", first appeared in the Avery-directed short "A Wild Hare." After Warners, he went to Paramount, then MGM, the latter where composer Scott Bradley scored his cartoons. 

Bradley isn't as well known as Carl Stalling, Warners' cartoon composer, but he was just as antic, and his orchestrations were more lush, befitting the "deluxe" MGM of the period. This 1992 CD brings a lot of his tunes together, and no, it's not the best compilation out there (some cuts include the cartoon dialogue) (which I find intrusive), but at least there's a few tracks here that really allow you to appreciate this little-known composer (plus the cover's pretty nifty, don't you think?).

Speaking of compilations, there's so many Bernard Herrmann collections that it's sometimes difficult to keep track. And truthfully, most of them are just thrown together, with no rhyme or reason for why music from one movie, for example, flows into music from another. And another. And another. In other words, they're money-grabs. 

But this 1976 compilation wisely chooses music from just three of Herrmann's efforts, and they compliment each other beautifully, starting with "Citizen Kane," his first feature assignment, then his Oscar-winning score for "The Devil & Daniel Webster," and on to one of his last, and best, for De Palma's "Obsession."

If you listen to the CD from start to finish (which I really recommend), it's like a dark musical portrait that starts out jaunty and cynical, turns fantastical and fiendish, then dives, beautifully, into thunderous, doom-laden romance. It's quite a ride.

Oh, Deanna, you're still missed, I swear. You were just so damn perky.

There's little Deanna and a host of other big-time Hollywood stars - like Dorothy Lamour! Harpo Marx! Marlene Deitrich! - singing and crooning in "Hooray For Hollywood!" a 1972 compilation LP which stretches from the 1930's to the 50's. Who can resist James Cagney singing "Mary's A Grand Ol' Name?' I know I can't. There's also Betty Hutton singing "Oh, It's So Quiet," which, depending on your mood, will either be the most irritating or joyous thing you've heard all day. And, yes, it's a Cheerful Exclusive! just for you.

The Secret Song File is feeling superpouty today. Too many hours on the set. Too many cigarettes and hootch. So how to relax, but not get all sloppy about it. Hmmm.

She knows just what to do (of course). Put on this slickly entertaining alterna CD from the land Down Under. No, really. It's all in good fun, and since they're good musicians and songwriters, you don't have to feel ashamed of yourself. Who are they? Let's just say that they put the "A" in Aussie. and they're one-word name is just another way to say say shaving jelly. Or, you know, have you met Al Pine? Nice guy. Smells funny, but nice guy.

I kid, of course. I've never taken a whiff of Al (but if I did, I'm not telling).

Talk to me below. You'll feel fresh and clean if you do!

Ladies We Love! Blondes, Brunettes, Plus Gisele, Betty And A Terrifying Secret Song!

Certain kind gals do certain kinds of things. No, not things like that (get your mind out of the gutter). It's obvious from the picture above, for example, that Diana Dors is displaying her scintillating gams talent for singing. That's all. Nothing else!

A few years back, DDC Classic released a compilation CD set with "Sex Kitten" songs from the likes of Diana, Peggy Lee, June Hutton, Eartha Kitt, and many more, divided equally between Blondes and Brunettes. Even if you have some of these tracks, you probably don't have them all, and this compilation is unusually well curated. And really, I don't care how many times I hear Jayne Mansfield sing "That Makes It" - which starts with the breathiest porny-phone intro ever - it always seems like the very first time.

Whom do I blame for the decade-long trend of screaming, screeching Broadway vocalists? Maybe her:

Or maybe "American Idol." Or maybe the techies who split your eardrums open by making the screeching even louder (whoever's responsible, please knock it off). I bring this up because in this current environment, there's no way a vocalist like Gisele MacKenzie would be welcome. Anywhere.

A popular light singer in her time, Gisele could certainly deliver a showstopper with the best of them, but she wasn't out to mow you down. She was "light" and "pleasant," and if we've lost the ability to appreciate these small charms, then we're in a world with no variety or varying color. In Gisele's era, there was room for both ends of the spectrum (and everything in-between), from Ethel Merman (who didn't need mics to be heard in the back balcony, thankyouverymuch), to Gisele herself.

In 1959's "Gisele MacKenzie In Person At The Empire Room" - a Cheerful Exclusive! just for you - Gisele displays her sharp, gimcrack personality and sings a wide variety of songs, including a few Merman standards, and brings her own charming elegance to each of them. "This old piano bench is full of happy memories," she says. She has plenty to share. Broadway and standards, of course, but also French standards and an Irish tune,  "The Piper O'Dundee," in which she adopts a delightful hammy brogue.

Lucky for Gisele, she was able to cut several LPs. That wasn't the case for WWII's favorite pinup (note how she displays her singing talent similarly to Diana Dors above) (good singing involves lots of lounging on plush surfaces):

While under studio contract, or during her most active years, Betty Grable was forbidden from cutting an LP (Judy Garland was, too, and many more). That's a shame, because "Sweetheart Of The Silver Screen" - yet another Cheerful Exclusive! - which brings together songs culled from her movies and several radio shows - shows that she was more than able to capture an audience with only her voice. I love her festive, jazzy version of "It's Only A Paper Moon," and in "Embraceable You," she strikes just the right balance between sexy and vulnerable. 

"Dude, what-choo lookin' at?" That's what the Secret Song File is thinking. And yet, guys always stare, their eyes bugging out, their lips hanging down - even the flaming ones. It's enough to give any gal the terrors! Sheesh, that's a whole bucket-load full of hints. You may have caught on by now - unless, of course, you're embryonic.

I've always liked this psychedelic band (even though they want to collaborate with THIS train wreck) (why, why, why?), and their latest trippy CD does not disappoint. Will it win you" fwends?" I suspect it will, though you may need a bit of telepathic surgery afterwards. Goodness, that's too many hints. It's not even sporting. But then the Secret Song File is feeling generous today. Stare all you like.

Just don't expect her to stare back. 

Have something to say? Let 'er rip in the comments!