Kay's Tears, Karen Sings Styne, Plus Benzedrine In Your Ovaltine And A Kiss/Kitsch Secret Song!

Kay Starr does it all! Jazz, pop, blues and, yes, country, too. Her musical choices seem to take her by whim, and occasionally, by commercial necessity (her career spans five decades). But Kay never sold out. She approaches each genre with the same crystal-clear directness - her vocals shaping each song to tell a story with a distinct beginning, middle and end. This makes country an especially good fit for her, since - in the past, at least - country music was largely about first-person storytelling.

When "Years & Heartaches/Old Records" - a Country Kay Cheerful Exclusive! - was released in 1966, audiences didn't quite know what to make of it. Like her previous outing, "Just Plain Country," her vocals and arrangements changed to suit each song, which meant that - on this LP, especially - if she thought a more pop vibe suited "Make The World Go Away," for example, then that's the direction she took. She let the music and lyrics lead her.

The result is a jewel of an album; underrated at its time, but ripe for re-discovery. Yes, jazz is Kay's forte - Billie Holiday once said she's "the only white woman who can sing the blues" - but I don't think country is all that removed from her "skill set," as the kids say. And get this. Kay's 90 years old and still performing! That's hawt.

No one does eleganza-extravaganza better than Karen Akers, don't you think? So poised. So fragile. Yet so strong. And, yes, so-o-o-o beeeeeee-utiful.

In 2007, The New York Times all but wrote her a love letter when she appeared at the Algonquin with her "Simply Styne" cabaret show. Hyperbole? Overkill? It seemed that way to me until I finally heard the CD, and, yes, it's as entrancing as the reviewer claims it to be. And, hooray, It's also a Glamour Gal Cheerful Exclusive!

You might be put off by Karen's cool approach at first, but listen to the album from start to finish; the coolness is just a slow (and necessary) build for a warm, and finally, fiery set. And it's worth the wait. This is one of her best CD's, I think, an emotion-charged portrait that becomes more complex and complete with each successive song.

Baby-Bhang! Ganja! Reefer! Giggle Weed! Or as they used to call it, "Marihuana." Governments and movie studios have always tried to demonize it, though not always successfully. Case in point is "Assassin Of Youth," whose 1937 poster, perhaps intentionally, makes pot look like an awful lot of fun. "Wild-Mad Thrills" you say? Dude, I'm so there.

I'm assuming you've watched "Reefer Madness" (and if you haven't, rent a copy and sit right back; it's hilarious), but get this, did you know that America's most esteemed President smoked the bud? Writers, too, of course, and artists, musicians, and lots and lots and lots and lots of celebrities.

So keep that in mind when you listen to "Drug Songs: High And Low, 1917-1944," a dizzying (in a good way) 2005 collection of songs and ditties that celebrate not just Mary Jane, but moonshine, wacky dust (and lots of other legally questionable substances), all performed by the likes of Ella Fitzgerald, Cab Calloway and Memphis Minnie (I'd say something about a contact high, but everyone's vaping their weed these days, aren't they?).

Sometimes when a musician puts out a new CD, it's like they want to give you a big wet kiss, but more often than not, it's a big wet kitsch. The latter can be fun, of course (in small does), but on a regular basis? Behold the Secret Song File below, who's receiving one wet kitsch too many. Enough, already!

So where does this once-gravely-injured-in-a-tour-bus-accident-Cuban-artist fall in the kiss/kitsch spectrum on her very latest CD? Somewhere in-between, actually. A few of her jazz numbers are cool and satisfying, but on other tracks, when she goes for "big emotions?" Well, let's just say she overplays them (or runs them over with a tour bus) (oh, no, I di'nt!). Still, she's still putting new material out, so I admire her for that, and she looks pretty damn good for 56 (which is older than Madonna!) (which is SO OLD!).

But we'll be young forever, won't we?

Share your li'l ol' thoughts in the comments, if you like!

Lovely Karen, Early Barbara & Yma, Fingering With Wes, Plus Ryuichi's Shining And A Faux-Ghetto Secret Song!

"Tart," "singular," "intelligent" and "slinky" are just a few of the adjectives that come to mind when I think of Karen Akers. I first saw her onstage in the original Broadway production of "Nine" - and I was hooked. I saw her again in "Grand Hotel," and with the help of my Cuban Luvuh, I've been collecting her LPs ever since. She hasn't been on Broadway since "Grand Hotel" (that I know of) but remains, as The New York Times says, "one of cabaret's ranking art-song interpreters."

"Unchained Melodies" - a Cheerful Chanteuse Exclusive! - isn't "arty" (or at least not to me), but it does offer Karen singing "Bewitched, Bothered And Bewildered" and making it so emotionally complete, you'll swear it's a new song. The same might be said of "Blame It On A Summer Night," or Sondheim's "Sooner Or Later," or just about any song here. She burrows into them like a Method actor; not a single lyric is taken for granted. In other words, she's spellbinding.

If Karen Akers is spellbinding and singular, then Yma Sumac is...what, exactly? Conspicuous? Especial? Fantastico?

If anyone deserves their own adjective, it's Yma, don't you think? Oh, and what about the musical "Flahooley?" (...) (...) (...sorry, I just fell asleep thinking about it). Basically, it was this 1951 Broadway mess with puppets, left-wing politics and songs by Sammy Fain and E.Y. Harburg. Before you get excited, this isn't a cult item like "Anyone Can Whistle." Not by a long shot. Still, there's a "but." There's actually two.

The Original Cast LP - a So-o-o Yma Cheerful Exclusive! - includes Barbara Cook in her first Broadway role (she sounds wonderful) and three, count 'em, three, Yma Sumac tracks that are pure delight - and surely catnip for all her fans like you and me. Not surprisingly, her wordless songs were written specially for her by Moises Vivanco, her Peruvian collaborator whom she married, divorced, re-married and divorced yet again (oh, you crazy kids). I love all of her cues here, but my favorite is "Birds/Enchantment," which at one point features her casually imitating a melodic, bird-like flute. In perfect pitch. 

Are there any hard-bop fans out there? There are? Then you've come to the right place. Wes is here (again)!

His 1957 "Fingerpickin'" LP, remastered in 1996, includes not just Wes, but jazz trumpeter Freddie Hubbard, who was making his recording debut (get ready for this) at age seventeen. This was also Wes' first solo LP, though he's happily joined by his brothers Monk and Buddy. Several modern reviewers out there believe Wes was still finding his sound, but I laugh at them - Hahahahahahaha! - because it all sounds deliciously mellow and seasoned to me.

Are you all jazzed-out? Had enough of Broadway and such? Then perhaps you need to trance out a bit with Ryuichi and an elephant.

I don't mean to imply that Ryuichi Sakamoto has made a "trance" CD, only to say that his music for the movie "Shining Boy And Little Randy" can put you into a trance-like state. Which I mean in a good way (of course).

I haven't seen this 2005 movie about an outcast Thai teenager named Tetsumu and his elephant (which truthfully, sounds a bit sticky) (to me), but Ryuichi's music is equal parts bouncy, dreamy and nostalgic. Maybe it's a tribute to the music that I actually thought of adding the movie to my Netflix cue, only to realize that they don't carry it (damn you, Netflix!). Oh, well. At least I have the music.

Fans, fans, fans, fans. The Secret Song File has a camera-ready smile whenever they pop up (as they invariably do) (like mosquitoes to a blood host). And, yes, the fans always want a picture. Good God, isn't her soul enough? How much must she give, give, give. Will it ever be enough? Are Cheetos proper to serve as hors d'oeuvres at a dinner party? "Why Cheetos?" you ask. Because Miss Britney's in the house, and where there is Britney, there are always Cheetos. Confused? Me, too.

No, this isn't a new CD by Brit-Brit, but she is a guest vocoder vocalist on one of the songs (using a British accent) (?). Is it mindless fluff? Yes, and in fact, the entire CD is completely brain-free. But it's got a beat, ya'll, and this wily Pea knows how to string them together. I probably don't need to give you any more hints (even if your name is William), but if you still don't know who it is, then just smile like the Secret Song File. Your fans will thank you.

Before posing, always check your teefs for salad bits and such. 

Drop your beats in the comments if you like!