Pearl Looks Surprised, Andrea Wants More, Plus Nancy's Sound, A Lil Sax And A Cuban-Goes-Brazilian Secret Song!

Oh, dear. Are you surprised like Pearlie? Maybe dumbfounded? Because the world as we know it has been mighty strange lately - to put it mildly. But we mustn't get down in the dumpity-doo! Not when there's still so much Pearlie to listen to.

Lena 'n' Gershwin 'n' The MGM Gang, Plus An Exclusive Careless Dorothy, A Trunk Full 'O' Pearlie And A No. 1 Movie Secret Song!

Imagine. You're the only black superstar at the largest movie-making company on the planet.

Pearlie's Blues, Julie's Sex, Tony's Live, Plus Vintage Esther And A Dub-Ish Secret Song!

It's Pearlie-time! Back in the 1930s, she was Philadelphia's favorite performer at all the finer black nightclubs. Then she went on to have a wowza recording, Broadway and TV career, as you surely know. A career in movies? Not so much.

Three Gold Diggers Dig, Plus A Gaggle of Goodies And A Douchey-Judgey Secret Song!

Girls, girls, girls! Twentieth-Century Fox sure knew what they were doing. Advertising, as you may know, is generally designed to follow the eyes' natural path - in a Z pattern, from the top left corner to the bottom right. And look where we end up in this publicity photo for 1953's "How To Marry A Millionaire."

Pearlie's Porgy, Marilyn's Penultimate Last Call, Plus Desplat's Daughter And A Pope-Ripping Secret Song!

Shocker! In 1959, Pearl Bailey recorded an LP in which she performed songs from "Porgy & Bess," along with other Gershwin tunes, and it bombed - hardly anyone bought it - so it almost instantly went out of print. Me, yours truly, being the Porgy & Bess-head that I am - or thought I was - didn't even know it existed. By chance, while ambling through a record store with my Cuban Luvuh last week, I spotted it popping up like Pearl herself, all smiles and effortlessly stylish.

Pearl's Tired, Ya'll, Plus Fran Hangs Up, Fred's Flashman, Krupa's Drums And A Whale Of A Secret Song!

Pearl Bailey sure knew how to pick 'em. When she married jazz drummer Louis Bellson, did she care about all the trouble they'd get into given the differences in their skin color? Look at him. What do you think? And, please, why do you think she was appointed America's "Ambassador Of Love" by President Nixon in 1970? Which begs the question, who's the "Ambassador of Love" now? Please don't say it's this person (and yes, I'm generally predisposed to musicians and singers who piss people off, but I can't with her).

Pearl's first LP, "Pearl Bailey Entertains" - a Love Ambassador Cheerful Exclusive! - was released in 1950, and once you listen to it, you'll understand why she exploded onto the scene with such fanfare. Yet as thrilling as her up-tempo numbers are, my favorite is the opening track, "Tired," a demure little ditty that makes exhaustion sound just delicious.

Impossibly chic, unforgettably beautiful, Fran Jeffries was a popular nightclub singer in the late 50's and 60's who did not one, but two, stunning layouts for Playboy.

But get this, her most enduring song, "Meglio Stasera" ("It Had Better Be Tonight") - which she performed in Blake Edwards' original "Pink Panther" film - still hasn't been released, and it was never included on the soundtrack LP or CD. But at least we can still see it. Can you imagine a number this stylish being included in a mass-market slapstick comedy today? Yeah, me neither.

Given that sex-kitten-ish number, her voice on 1961's "Fran Can Really Hang You Up The Most" - a Playboy Gal Cheerful Exclusive! - is a lot more powerful and varied then I expected. And she sure swings with the best of them on numbers like Berlin's "Love And The Weather." Largely considered a novelty act throughout most of her career, she's begging to be re-discovered for something that was staring everyone in the face the entire time: her talent.

Did you love Lemon Jelly like I loved Lemon Jelly? Were you disappointed when they broke up took an indefinite hiatus? Me, too. But rejoice, Lemon-heads. Fred Deakin is still cranking out tunes, or at least intermittently.

In 2011, he released "To the Victor The Spoils," in collaboration with Robin Jones of The Beta Band, but only a thousand copies were put into distribution. That's a shame, because it's unlike any electronica I've ever heard, or at least lately (my Cuban Luvuh doesn't like electronica, so I listen to it on the down-low). Why is it so different? Maybe because it leans closer to jazz, or it could be the use of real instruments (which gives it breathable, human feel). Whatever the case, it's the best of its kind in a very long time. You're welcome.

Speaking of real instruments, if you're a drummer, then you no doubt know who this vanguard is:

Yes, it's Gene Krupa, the drumming phenom who invented tunable tom-toms, developed the modern hi-hat and was the very first to standardize (and popularize) modern cymbal techniques. Oh, and he was a dynamite player, too. Yes, there was a fairly dumb-dumb movie made about his life in 1959 (weed was the demon!), but really, his music talks the talk best of all.

But wait. Are you sitting? You might want to, because "Gene Krupa Drummin' Man" is a definite 4-CD collection of his best tracks - and I swear, the first time I put it on, I listened to it from start to finish (no, really). Plus, in addition to Gene, you'll hear our old friend Anita O'Day on a few tracks, along with many other popular singers. I know what you're thinking. "Four fucking discs? That's too much." Trust me, it's not. Or to paraphrase a faithful reader of this blog, "You can never be too rich, too thin or have too much Krupa."

The Secret Song File is always keeping an eye out for the next big thing - the next big trend, today's drink special, or below, someone to go home with (who isn't her date). Is that a hint? Mmm, no, but some things simply must be shared.

Do you like "Moby Dick?" This super-new CD isn't from a whale of an artist, or even a whale, but he has gotten into a few dick-ish feuds (with Eminem, most prominently, along with Marilyn Manson), and yes, sometimes it seems like he makes music for the sole purpose of licensing his tracks to Volkswagen. But these days, you have to play (*cough*) in order to make a buck, so who can blame him? Plus his new CD is lightly trippy and fun. What's not to like?

Why a feud? Isn't it better to get even? 

Settle a score or two in the comments, if you like!

Caterina Takes Free Rein, Pearl's Mystery LP, Plus More Swingle Sisters, Corigliano's Rocket And A Nearly-Blind Secret Song!

Look at Caterina! All shiny and pink - and with a startling, gleaming yellow background. I swear the illustrator must have been flying on dexies because it's all so bright-bright-bright! And so unreal, but then maybe that's as it should be, because Caterina Valente - multitalented, multilingual, Italian-born daughter of circus performers - sounds as if somebody combined one-part Charo, two parts Carmen Miranda, a dollop of Sophia Loren, then pressed puree on a blender. How can she be real? But she is. And she's wonderful.

Recorded in 1963, Caterina's "Songs I've Sung On The Perry Como Show" is a lively collection of tunes that include "Make Someone Happy," "Couci Couca" and "Stella By Starlight." It's like your own little dexy - on vinyl!

Did you know? Lots of old time stars posed nude. There's Tab Hunter, of course, and Lucille Ball, Greta Garbo, Sal Mineo, and look below, it's our old friend Pearl Bailey in a stunning 1940s-era portrait by Carl Von Vechten.

If you can get past all that blinding, unselfconscious beauty, then you'll want to check out "Pearl Bailey Sings!" - a Cheerful Pearl Exclusive! - which was recorded...when exactly? I ask this, because there's no copyright date on the LP, virtually no information about it on the Internets (all the listings leave out the recording date), and certainly no reviews. In fact, it's not even included in most Pearl discographies. It's a mystery!

Which is strange, because it's not as if it's from some fly-by-night company or something - Columbia Harmony is the label - yet the cover picture is kind of cheap-looking and blurry, and the notes on back are non-existent (except for recommendations for other Harmony records). But still, it's a terrific LP - I love "Old Man, You Been Gone Too Long" - and, yes, Pearl, as is her wont, takes breaks in several songs to chit-chat with you. Because she can. Because she's Pearl. 

Jeez-louise, you guys really like The Swingle Singers, because there were mucho downloads of their LP on the Legrand post last week. The group still exists and performs, as you may know, but - and it's a big but - not with the original members below: 

So let's say "encore" with "Place Vendome," their irresistible 1966 collaboration with The Modern Jazz Quartet. It's an almost ridiculously happy LP. And those xylophones - perfection.

Look at John Corigliano below. Why is he smiling like the proverbial cat who caught the canary? Is it because he has this to come home to every night? Oh, JohnCo, you sly puss, you.

If you haven't heard his "Symphony No. 2" or "The Mannheim Rocket," treat yourself right now. "Symphony" is absolutely gorgeous, of course (and won a Pulitzer, too), while "Rocket" features this singular composer at his most splashy and playful. Snobs say it quotes too heavily from Wagner and Strauss and all the rest of the Germans, but duh, that's kind of the point, isn't it (or at least partly)? But even if you don't get all the references, and I certainly don't, it's still a ten-minute rush of surprising fun.

The Secret Song File begs your indulgence while she hoovers up a toot (or-two-or-three-or-four). Ahhh. All better (it's medicinal). Or is it? Can't some things just be fun? You know, like this spanking new, now complete, CD from a certain white R&B singer who just happens to be this guy's son (don't hold it against him) (which is difficult, I know, but try).

"Entertainment Weekly" calls it "zero-calorie R&B." To which I say, "Bitch, please." It's springy, light summer fun (and it's certainly better than this guy's latest) (which I've played only once) (and will nev-ah play again) (just sayin'). Does everything have to be a masterpiece for the ages? It's summer. It's hot out. Can't we all chill?

I'll make the cocktails if you go inside and grab the carrot sticks and bean dip, m'k?

Give a holla if you wanna in the comments!

Crawford Sings, Bailey's Showstoppers, Plus A Master Of Disguise, Annette's Best, Derek's Flamingo Jazz And A Bug Bite Secret Song!

Yes, that's her. No, it's not a drag queen, though late-era Joan, with her overly severe make-up and hard-jaw facial expressions, inspired many. She didn't start out that way. "You're a writer, aren't you?" the newly arrived Joan asked screenwriter Frederica Maas, eyeing her up and down at MGM in the early 1920's. "And you dress like a lady. I need that. I want to be dressed right. Smart. I figured you could help."

After taking her on a whirlwind shopping trip, Frederica notes in her autobiography that Joan now "had class - even if it only showed in her wardrobe. She had two obsessions: her goals of stardom and of becoming a good actress. At considerable cost, she achieved both, (but) in the end, she died a lonely victim of too many sleeping potions and too much alcohol." Poor Joan, there's always bad news. But at least she left us her movies - and hot-cha photos like this:

She also left us her songs. "What?" you're asking. Yes, Joan Crawford sang in quite a few of her movies. And in this Movie Stah Cheerful Exclusive! you'll hear them all, from the early 1920s to the 50's. How well does she sing? Not bad, actually. She sang like she acted, as if she were still doing silent movies; deliberately, cleanly, with maximum emotion or none at all. No in-between for our Joan. None. But then with Joan, there never was.

Let's hop forward a few decades or so to "Dickie," as she was sometimes called by her friends and close associates.

1970's "Applause" - yet another Cheerful Exclusive! - features Pearl Bailey in terrific form, and backed by a big brassy band. The opening title number is enough to awaken even the sleepiest little bee in the room. But there's also ballads and blues, like my favorite number, "When The World Was Young," which she performs in an aching, though more hopeful, manner than most. And the finale, "Tower Of Strength," tells you all you need to know about this indomitable singer.

I'm not that fond of impersonators, and I generally forget about them unless someone brings them up. But there's one who stands head and shoulders above them all. I'm not even sure you'd call him an impersonator, much less a drag queen. An illusionist, maybe?

It was my Cuban Luvuh who stumbled upon this 1973 "Live In Concert, Jim Bailey At Carnegie Hall" LP - a Camouflaged Cheerful Exclusive! - and it's like nothing you've ever heard. Bailey, as you may know, was an illusionist (I decided to go with that term) (for now), in the late 60's and into the 80's, specializing in female divas who sang. It helped that he was trained in opera - he's a fine singer on his own - but surely some other kind of magic was at work.

On the first of this 2 LP set, he performs a Barbra Streisand concert, as Barbra (of course), and, yes, it's wonderful, but it's the second LP, in which he performs Judy Garland in concert, which truly stands out, especially when he sings "The Man That Got Away," which goes way beyond mere impersonation. He's Garland, alright, as if he's crawled beneath her skin, but he's also having a conversation with you - about what it means to love this singular performer and what she means to him. The last portion of the LP set features Bailey-as-Bailey singing in his own voice, and besides his opening number, which is maybe a bit too Vegas razz-ma-tazz, it's quite a performance. All of it is!

Since spring is still springing, it's time for a dollop of jazz, don't you think? Derek Smith certainly does.

I love this 1955 mini 4-track LP, which includes Derek Smith, a noted British jazz pianist, performing with his trio - Allan Ganley on drums, Freddie Logan on bass and Harry Klein on baritone. There's nothing show-stopping here, just delightful light jazz, including a charming version of Gershwin's "Let's Call The Whole Thing Off." It practically fizzy-pops out of the speakers.

Fizzy-pop of a different kind came, conquered, then left us this week. Yes, I'm referring to Annette Funny-jello Funicello, the ultimate teen girl.

This giggly-fun 2-CD "box set" has all the best of Annette, including the beach party tunes, the movie and novelty songs - like "The Rock-A-Cha," which is a blast - even a Beatles cover (no, really) (and it's good). Plus the session musicians are outstanding. Could she really sing? Absolutely. But it's her infectious, one-of-a-kind Annette-ness that really makes you smile.

What are you going to do when you're forced to sit next to - and even hold hands with - a guy you're so not into? The Secret Song File is struggling with just such a situation below. The guy really bugs her, if you know what I mean; he's like a mosquito or something (and yes, that was a huge hint). It's almost sacrilege!

Maybe it'll be better when she gets home. She can play the very latest CD from this premiere American alterna band and scream - with her mouth in a perfect "O," just like the lead singer. Or maybe she can just scream "Yeah!" three times in a row (making the last one plural). Oy. If you don't know who the band is by now, then it really is sacrilege!

But then one person's sacrilege is another's one's holiday, right?

Have a go at it in the comments!

Porgy, Porgy, Porgy!

I've become obsessed lately with "Porgy & Bess," the Gershwin/Heyward opera first performed in 1935, then reshaped, revised and recut for subsequent generations, lately arriving as a passionless, if hotly controversial, Broadway musical. This new Broadway version reminded me that I'd never seen the 1959 movie adaptation with Dorothy Dandridge.

Surprisingly, the movie isn't available on DVD (or even a mangy VHS). Why? Because even though it's been selected for preservation by the U.S. National Registry, the Gershwin estate doesn't much like it, and so it's likely to remain unavailable until hell freezes over until they change their mind. Happily, I got my paws on a watchable bootleg.

Even though the movie is stagy to a fault - one can only imagine how much better it might have been if the boorish Otto Preminger hadn't replaced director Rouben Mamoulian - it does bring together a stellar cast, most of whom were reluctant to participate at all given the burgeoning civil rights movement.

The movie's story, which included drug dealing, poverty and prostitution, was regarded as racist, or at the very least, something that wouldn't exactly help the cause. Yet despite racially-charged content and the movie's clod-hopping direction, the cast deliver terrific performances.

And that includes not just Dorothy Dandridge and Sidney Poitier (Dandridge and Poitier had their singing dubbed by Adele Anderson and Robert McFerrrin) (yes, he was the father of Bobby McFerrin), but Pearl Bailey, Diahann Carroll, Maya Angelou, Geoffrey Holder and, of course, Sammy Davis, Jr., who nearly obliterates the movie's period setting by dancing and singing as if he were in a hot-cha! jazz-hands! Fosse musical (but he's allowed).

Better still is how plastic and bendable the score has become over the years, subject to endless rethinks and re-interpretations. My favorite these days is the one above by The Oscar Peterson Trio, which stays close to the score's melodies, but otherwise lightly gambols into its own springy jazz territory, especially during the inimitable "It Ain't Necessarily So," with a piano riff that's pure smooth-jazz delight.

In fact, it seems as if "Porgy & Bess" has become catnip to the best jazz vocalists and musicians . Everyone from Joe Henderson to Lena Horne to Louis Armstrong to Cab Calloway (on the "Porgy & Bess/Girl Crazy" twofer below) have put their mark on the Gershwin/Heyward opera.

Most of the LPs here are Cheerful Exclusives!, including a certain LP by a certain hot-cha! jazz-hands! performer who redeems his hammy movie turn with several surprisingly sensitive renditions from the score. And, yes, it helps a great deal that he's accompanied by Carmen McRae, whose version of "Summertime" ranks right up there with Lena's and Ella's and Adele's and Helen's and...the list seems infinite, doesn't it? It's an embarrassment of musical riches!

Which begs the question, if a woman is a sometime thing, what's a man?

If you ain't got no shame, leave a comment, why dont'cha?