Judy, Judy, Judy! Did you know? As a child, she claimed to learn better in school when she wasn't wearing her left shoe, and so habitually took it off in class. For some reason this makes me happy.
What else makes me happy? A new and completely remastered Judy collection. What could be more glorious? The forty-year-old Judy might say pills 'n' such (don't you wish you were a fly on the wall when Anita O'Day accused Judy of stealing pills from her stash?) (she was Judy's last roommate), though honestly, Judy lived to sing. And she still astounds in this Just Judy Cheerful Exclusive! for you and yours.
It's a whopping, multi-CD set which concentrates on Judy's pairings with a multitude of stars throughout her career. For me, the standouts are her performances with Bing Cosby - "The Old Groaner" himself, as he was affectionally dubbed - several of which are being heard here for the first time.
So dive-in, Judy fans, and for those unfamiliar - with either Judy or Bing - you're in for a treat. By the way, it was Bing who helped Judy resurrect her career in the early 1950s by featuring her on his "Chesterfield"-sponsored TV show, which led to her triumphant return to the concert stage at London's Palladium. For a few decades there, Judy was resurrecting her career again and again. She always bounced back (until she didn't) (but that's another story).
Meanwhile, if you were a starlet in the 1930s, 40s and 50s, you sang - whether you wanted to or not. Even Joan Crawford (featured below covering her rump with what looks like a fancy sewer grating) was forced to sing.
In "Sex Symbols," a dizzyingly thorough 2-CD collection, you'll find songs you've likely heard before, including tunes by Mamie Van Doren, Jayne Mansfield and Marilyn Monroe. But there's also more obscure tunes here, too, like Diana Dors singing "The Gentleman Is A Dope;" Jean Harlow performing her sassy anthem "Reckless;" and, yes, Miss Crawford warbling "How Long Will It Last." Dig her "fancy-lady" diction. But she tries, goddammit, she really tries.
Have you ever been to a party where there's singing? Of course you have. You know the parties I'm talking about. They're chock full of drunk
But sometimes there's parties with amusing chatter and equally amusing songs (no, really). In the 1964 LP "Peter And Penelope Poof Throw A Party," the duo welcome their saucy friends for bawdy chatter and songs, like "Let's Do It" and "I Can't Say 'No.'" I'd never heard of this LP before until I stumbled upon it - and it's genuinely funny, complete with droll limericks and witty conversations delivered with razor-sharp comic timing.
The eagle-eyed among you might recognize the cover as the work of "Mad" magazine's Wally Wood, yet the LP itself doesn't identify any of the performers or singers. Yes, I searched the Internet, but came up empty, so maybe one of you can do better detective work and find something. At any rate, Peter's and Penelope's va-va-voom party is definitely worth attending.
The Secret Song File doesn't "do" Halloween. Why should she? Halloween is for kids and tourists and teenage gayettes and gayelles, who invariably vomit after quaffing too many Natty Lights and Jell-O shots. "Beer before liquor, never been sicker." When will these amateurs learn? But if you're throwing a Halloween party this year and need music, a certain dead, "smooth criminal"-like pop star's got you covered.
It's a shameless money grab on the part of his estate, but at the same time, it's kinda fun to have all of his spooky or vaguely threatening songs on one spanking new CD. And rest easy, that song where he croons about a "pretty young thing - "emphasis on "young" - is not included. Now that really would make you vomit.
No one ever threw up from Maui-Waui. Just sayin'.
Torch a fattie in the comments, if you like!
