What makes a Bad Girl? Red lipstick? Skimpy lingerie? A loaded gun?
These days, people might be inclined to call the likes of this and this Bad Girls (they're certainly intolerable, I'll give them that). But back in the day, things were a wee bit harsher. It really was escandalo for ladies to come off as even the teensiest bit sexual (unless you were a "harmless dumb-bunny" like Marilyn). Almost always, encountering a sexy lady meant big trubs.
And I know, some of you are saying, "I'll take some of that trubs, especially if she looks like this," to which I say, "Have at it, if'n she'll have you. Just don't ghost her the next day if she sends you a text asking to take things further. If you're not into it, text back, say you had fun, but you're not into more. 'Cause ghosting in downright tacky. And you know how I hates tackiness!
What were we talking about again? Oh, yes, Bad Girls. Have you ever heard Rusty Warren sing "Bounce Your Boobies?" It's a must. Or how about Bonnie Lou's "Friction Heat?" Pure delight. This collection is just bursting with Bag Girl crooners, including Stormy Gayle and Sparkle Moore, whose names, let's face it, sound like RuPaul contestants. This is meant as praise.
Judy. The gift that keeps on giving. Every day, it seems, someone's digging up more "lost tracks."
And happily, more of them are here for you today in this Joyfully Judy Cheerful Exclusive! This must-have, 2-disc collection of her recordings in London just keep on giving as you listen to them over and over (and I have been). In addition to tracks you might have heard before, there's previously unreleased tracks, alternate takes and a whole lot more. And the collection includes, I think, her definitive versions of "Chicago" and "San Francisco."
These recordings are also a nice corrective for those who think that Judy was losing her voice to booze and pills toward the end of her life. Yes, she was loaded more often than not, but when she stepped onto a stage or before a microphone, all bets were off. The professional shone through.
It might have been purest hell to get her before an audience or into a recording studio (and it was), but I'd be hard-pressed to think of another "troubled" singer who was so consistently skilled throughout the entirety of her life. There really is no one else like her. Many Judy-ites, and I know you're out there, might argue that her Carnegie Hall concert is Judy at her pinnacle, but give a listen to this. It's my new favorite.
What constitutes jazz these days? Should we have it whitesplained to us as Gosling does in "La La Land?" (Good lord, have you seen "La La Land?" Ugh. An artisanale hipster musicale? I just can't.) (And yes, I know it'll gobble up every award imaginable tomorrow night.) I'd say that jazz is a wonderfully elastic form which can happily encompass traditional and non-traditional instrumentation, though purists may disagree.
Purists of the world will surely recoil from "The Future Sound Of Jazz," but if you have an open mind, you'll be enthralled by the work of Finnish tenor saxophonist Jimi Tenor, or the downtempo swing of The Mighty Bop, and the mesmerizing Latin Jazz of Sapien. It's as blissful as it sounds.
The Secret Song File hasn't quite figured out what she'll be wearing (or not wearing) on the Oscar red carpet tomorrow. Right now, she's frozen with indecision.
But she'll snap out of it. All she needs is a li'l toke or two of soon-to-be-illegal-recreational-herb, and some uplifting music. And she has just such a CD for that purpose, a spanking new soundtrack which encompasses all the best songs performed by this recently deceased R&B diva. Why, she could listen to it for a thousand days and nights (*cough*cough*). Couldn't you?
Never wear red on the red carpet. Never.
Share your Oscar predictions in the comments, if you like!
