Spring is Springing With Patachou, Giselle, Anita, Oscar And Disco Michel, Plus A She-Girl Secret Song!

The Easter Beagle has risen! Soon the days will be sunny from start to finish, (and we'll all fry due to global warming) (so wear sunscreen) (and stay away from those tanning beds!) (I'm only looking out for you). And if it's spring, then it must be time for Patachou, an adored French cabaret singer who made the trip across the Atlantic for her featured role in "Folies Bergere Direct From Paris!" on the Great White Way in the early 1960's, along with with singer-composer Georges Ulmer and the incomparable Liliane Montevecchi.

Unfortunately, Liliane isn't featured on this original Broadway cast recording - a Fantastique Cheerful Exclusif! - but Patachou and Georges are, along with a seriously sassy orchestra; you'll feel like you're in a rousing time-warp when the "Can-Can" kicks in. And just imagine all the glamorous les girls. Interestingly, topless nudity didn't come to the Folies until 1911 (the year Maurice Chevalier appeared) (he was labeled "painfully unfunny" on his opening night by critics, nearly derailing his career). The new bare-it-all strategy prompted critics to gush as follows: "A mesmerized hush fell over the audience, followed by an immense erection sigh of admiration." Sure, sure. Keep it in your pants, boys.

In keeping with our springtime theme, isn't it time to break out the bonnets?

Actually, I'm not sure what's on top of Gisele MacKenzie's head (a teeny baby dinosaur?), but I do know she's ready for the season given her "look" on the album cover below. Those inquisitive eyebrows, the carefully pursed lips, those fabulous tiny blue octopi earrings. Perfect, don't you think? 

Actually, it is. This delightful Canadian-American singer - a staple on popular variety shows in the 1950's and early 60's - coos wonderfully in her namesake 1958 LP, "Gisele," a Peppy Cheerful Exclusive! "Peppy" and "perky" get a bad name in some quarters, but not in this case, since Gisele embodies them both to a T on songs ranging from "Hey, There!" to "Answer Me My Love," and more. Fair warning; the album starts with a somewhat glum version of "Stranger In Paradise," but don't be scared. Everything gets sunshiny in a jiffy. 

And now on to a lady who's fantastic no matter what season it is. Yes, it's the one, the only, Anita O'Day:

Her 1963 LP "Anita O'Day & The Three Sounds" is an anomaly in her catalog. Her jazz vocals are restrained (yes, restrained), and some O'Day purists prefer to ignore it altogether. They are foolish, mindless little peeps. Why? Because O'Day's minimalist vocals are obviously in keeping with The Three Sounds' minimalist arrangements (duh!). And make no mistake, she's just as deliciously precision-oriented here as she is elsewhere. So, yes, it's an unusual O'Day LP. It's also one of my favorites.

He's one of the greatest piano players of all time, we know this, so what's to say? I know, let's say springtime isn't complete without Oscar Peterson. Which is totally true. Dont'cha think?

"Night Train" isn't just a masterpiece, it's also a blast. Take "The Honeydrippers," with Oscar's winged arpeggios, or the buoyant "Georgia On My Mind" and "C-Note," the latter with breathtaking trills and runs. Everything here glistens and makes you happy. What more can you want for the season?

Actually, you might want a little more, though be careful what you wish for, because today we're finishing up with Michel Legrand...the disco years. I'm not joking. I sort of wish I was, yet I'm sort of glad I'm not (if that makes sense), because this is as prime a chunk of cheese as any you're likely to find anywhere.

But then, people in the 70's wore things like this, and snorted coke with them, and did the "walk of shame" in the early morning hours like this, so it kind of makes sense. I'll admit, some of the music on this 1978 LP is genuinely hair-raising, but you must. If only for the epic opening track "Disco Magic Concorde." Trust me, you so-o-o want it.

Many people want the Secret Song File, and even try to force their way. She'll have none of that, springtime or not. Sure, you can back her against a wall, but then she'll GLARE at you (with her eyes at half-mast) (that's when you know she really means business). What else will she do?

She'll sing, yo! Specifically, the fourth song on a spanking new CD, in which a soulful poptart tells you - and how! - that "you ain't all you're cracked up to be." Ooo, burn! This is only her second CD, but it was worth the wait. See how I'm not mentioning her name? Is she, um, Alice in Wonderland? Or Willow Smith? Hmm. Let's just say that italics are your friend.

Bunnys are your friends, too, so don't run them over.

Hippity-hop all over the comments! It's fun!

J'adore Legrand, Ti Amo Velia, A Stately Danse, Plus A Sparkling Secret Song!

Have you ever seen "The Umbrellas of Cherbourg?" It's probably the perfect sung-through musical - far better and more affecting than all those clodhopping monstrosities like "Jekyll and Hyde" and God forbid, "Les Miserables" (the next time I want to get thisclose to Hugh Jackman's schnoz, I'll let you know, thankyouverymuch).

Not only is the Michel Legrand music blissful perfection, the movie itself is just flat-out gorgeous to look at (it was designed by Bernard Evein, a French art director whose work in "Cherbourg" is still eye-popping and modern). Directed by Jacques Demy, who also wrote the lyrics, the movie stars Catherine Deneuve at her most beautiful and the ridiculously handsome Nino Castelnuovo, who play a fated couple experiencing the trials of l'amour. Ooh la la!

Norma Desmond, as you may know, once said, "We didn't need dialogue, we had faces." She may as well have been referring to Catherine and Nino above, don't you think? Oh, and even if you haven't seen "Cherbourg," I'm willing to wager that you'll know the main theme song. Don't believe me? Try out a snippet of this song:

Did you watch it? Did you get chills? You know you want to hear more. Luckily, there's a fabulous 2-CD soundtrack - in lossless, bien sur - with practically every bit of music from the movie (I'm deliberately not telling you a thing about the story in case you haven't seen it) (and you should) (some things really should be watched fresh). On a related note, I don't know why this hasn't been turned into an English-language Broadway musical. It could be so wonderf...oh, never mind, they'd just fuck it mess it up.

Movie sequels are seldom a good idea. Sequels to movie musicals are always a bad idea. Can you think of one that worked? I can't (and no, I can't watch more than a few minutes of this). "Cherbourg's" sequel, "The Young Girls Of Rochefort" wasn't to everyone's taste, to put it mildly. There's Deneuve, of course, and this time she's joined by a game, 50-ish Gene Kelly, "West Side Story's" George Chakiris, as well as Francoise Dorleac, Deneuve's sister (who at the time was more famous) (she died tragically in a car accident at age twenty-five). 

And yet for all the silliness of the story about twin sisters who run a ballet school and dream of meeting their ideal mates, I've always found "Young Girls" to be a dream-like treat with its bursts of color and music in tribute to old Hollywood musicals. It's worth seeking out - after you've seen "Cherbourg" - and this 2-CD soundtrack is just delicious. 

Speaking of eye-popping and designed like a dream, "The King Is Dancing," which charts the tumultuous, sometimes kinky, rise of France's "Sun King," or King Louis XIV, ravishes the eye and the ear. 

Why this movie wasn't released in the U.S. is a big mystery (the director's previous feature "Farinello" was nominated for an Oscar). If you haven't had a chance to catch it, it's similar to "Amadeus" given the artistic rivalry with music - and dance, too - set amidst ruthless royal power struggles in Versailles. It's all very tempestuous. Ooh la-la, encore!

The 2-CD soundtrack is a treat for classical music lovers - there's Jean-Baptiste Lully, Jacques Bordier, opera composer Robert Cambert and more - and it's just as sprawling and lush as the movie.

Okay, I'm all Francophiled out for the day. Let's move south of the border to Cuba. Ai! It was my Cuban Luvuh who introduced me to the wily beauty below, the beloved comedian, singer and nightclub diva Velia Martinez! Ella era multi-talentoso, si? Si!

If you know of Velia (which I didn't), it's likely because of "Que Pasa, USA?" a hugely popular series which aired for gringos on PBS in the 1970s (she played the smart-tongued abuelita) (pictured below, to the right, next to a very young Steven Bauer). She also acted in movies opposite Errol Flynn, and starred in "The Devil's Sisters" (which sounds wonderfully trashy), in addition to thrilling the cabaret circuit with her singing and wisecracking.

It's the latter which comes through in full force in "Bon Voyage!" which features her performing in English, Spanish and French. Trust me, this old broad knew how to throw down. From her rousing opener, "Lover Come Back To me," to the galvanizing "El Cha-Cha Rock!" she never lets up. How do you say fabulous in Spanish?

Who doesn't like a good smoke while you're waiting for mack-daddy to set you up with a couple of "lunch dates?" You're on hold for a bit - he runs a very busy enterprise - but luckily, there's none of that awful "on hold music," which means you can listen to you own CD. But which one should that be?

How about a Greatest Hits collection? But please, no foolish games. You want something that'll make you feel like a stronger woman. Why? Because you've been down so-o-o-o long - and those two hearts breaking are still mending. You just want something that makes you feel like a diamond or a sapphire or an emerald, or collectively, like the single name for this snaggletoothed (I like that she hasn't gotten it fixed) "I once lived in my car!"-type singer. And if you still haven't figured it out yet, then the Secret Song File has some genuine diamonelle earrings she'd like to sell you.

Or wait, that's gen-you-wyne. Pronunciation is everything.

Feel free to get your tongue around anything you like in the comments!