Apr 19, 2013

Ladies We Love! Blondes, Brunettes, Plus Gisele, Betty And A Terrifying Secret Song!


Certain kind gals do certain kinds of things. No, not things like that (get your mind out of the gutter). It's obvious from the picture above, for example, that Diana Dors is displaying her scintillating gams talent for singing. That's all. Nothing else!

A few years back, DDC Classic released a compilation CD set with "Sex Kitten" songs from the likes of Diana, Peggy Lee, June Hutton, Eartha Kitt, and many more, divided equally between Blondes and Brunettes. Even if you have some of these tracks, you probably don't have them all, and this compilation is unusually well curated. And really, I don't care how many times I hear Jayne Mansfield sing "That Makes It" - which starts with the breathiest porny-phone intro ever - it always seems like the very first time.



Whom do I blame for the decade-long trend of screaming, screeching Broadway vocalists? Maybe her:


Or maybe "American Idol." Or maybe the techies who split your eardrums open by making the screeching even louder (whoever's responsible, please knock it off). I bring this up because in this current environment, there's no way a vocalist like Gisele MacKenzie would be welcome. Anywhere.


A popular light singer in her time, Gisele could certainly deliver a showstopper with the best of them, but she wasn't out to mow you down. She was "light" and "pleasant," and if we've lost the ability to appreciate these small charms, then we're in a world with no variety or varying color. In Gisele's era, there was room for both ends of the spectrum (and everything in-between), from Ethel Merman (who didn't need mics to be heard in the back balcony, thankyouverymuch), to Gisele herself.

In 1959's "Gisele MacKenzie In Person At The Empire Room" - a Cheerful Exclusive! just for you - Gisele displays her sharp, gimcrack personality and sings a wide variety of songs, including a few Merman standards, and brings her own charming elegance to each of them. "This old piano bench is full of happy memories," she says. She has plenty to share. Broadway and standards, of course, but also French standards and an Irish tune,  "The Piper O'Dundee," in which she adopts a delightful hammy brogue.


Lucky for Gisele, she was able to cut several LPs. That wasn't the case for WWII's favorite pinup (note how she displays her singing talent similarly to Diana Dors above) (good singing involves lots of lounging on plush surfaces):


While under studio contract, or during her most active years, Betty Grable was forbidden from cutting an LP (Judy Garland was, too, and many more). That's a shame, because "Sweetheart Of The Silver Screen" - yet another Cheerful Exclusive! - which brings together songs culled from her movies and several radio shows - shows that she was more than able to capture an audience with only her voice. I love her festive, jazzy version of "It's Only A Paper Moon," and in "Embraceable You," she strikes just the right balance between sexy and vulnerable. 


"Dude, what-choo lookin' at?" That's what the Secret Song File is thinking. And yet, guys always stare, their eyes bugging out, their lips hanging down - even the flaming ones. It's enough to give any gal the terrors! Sheesh, that's a whole bucket-load full of hints. You may have caught on by now - unless, of course, you're embryonic.


I've always liked this psychedelic band (even though they want to collaborate with THIS train wreck) (why, why, why?), and their latest trippy CD does not disappoint. Will it win you" fwends?" I suspect it will, though you may need a bit of telepathic surgery afterwards. Goodness, that's too many hints. It's not even sporting. But then the Secret Song File is feeling generous today. Stare all you like.

Just don't expect her to stare back. 

Have something to say? Let 'er rip in the comments!